Get out of here.

OMG LANDSCAPER STOP EDGING THE LAWN SO THAT I CAN GO STEAL THE COLUMBINES FROM MY COMPLEX'S FRONT YARD.

Seriously. People have been mowing, edging, cutting, and annoying me for like an hour. All I want to do on my day off is go dig up part of the Columbine bush in my front yard and re-plant it in my little planter baskets. I tried to grow them from seeds, that failed. So I'm just going to go prune down the flower bush and steal part of the root system and put it in my freaking flower baskets. THAT'S ALL I WANT. GO AWAY, GARDENER MAN!!!! NOW!!!!

PS the sound of the lawn mower is about to drive me to murder you.

Quote of the Day

"You are so unfamiliar with the gym, you call it JAMES."

As Heard at BYU

From a girl in my 'socialization across childhood' class:

"I got married a week and a half ago. I've known him since September. We were kind of off and on. There were periods where I didn't talk to him for a few months. But we're married now. So whatever."

Remind me not to do that. K thanks bye.

When Harry Met Sally.

I watched the last half of When Harry Met Sally the other day on one of the only two channels that works on my TV upstairs. I'd never seen it before, and had never really been interested in seeing it, but I decided to give it a chance. These two scenes seriously made me laugh out loud. They introduced me to one of my new favorite quotes..... if any of you can guess which phrase it is, you win. Its about halfway through the clip, but you have to watch the begining to understand it. Watch the first 4 1/2 minutes of this, and then think about it.





If you don't watch this, it won't make sense. But yes. You were right... my new favorite quote:

"You know its funny, we started out like this, Helen and I. We had blank walls, hung things, put down tiles together. Then you know what happens? Six years later you find yourself singing SURREY with the FRINGE ON TOP, IN FRONT OF IRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Every time I hear Harry scream: "IN FRONT OF IRA!!!" I seriously cannot hold in my giggles. Oh Billy Crystal, you're such a funny man.

Why facebook is the worst friend ever.

Many, many people spend a good amount of "quality time" on facebook these days. Some people even spend more time on facebook than on actual face to face interaction, which kind of makes me sad for the world. But lets take a hard look at the facts: facebook should not be our friend. If facebook were a person, these would be some of his winning qualities:

1. Facebook is nosy.
2. Facebook is a gossip.
3. Facebook is a bragger.
4. Facebook tells the same studpid stories over and over again.
5. Facebook tries to get us addicted to things. (Farmville, anyone?)
6. Facebook encourages stalking.
7. Facebook has no respect for privacy.

8. Facebook supports a sedentary lifestyle.

And now lets translate that into action: Facebook is the kind of friend who "talks bad" about other people behind their back. He never shuts up. He can often be found sitting on your couch in his greasy potato chip stained sweats, forcing you to look at his boring vacation pictures. He somehow always knows your business and consults everyone in the world about it. Also, he is on probation for stalking. What. A. Guy.

Facebook is the worst friend ever. Log off.

Sidenote: I almost posted this on my Things That Must Go blog, but Facebook can serve eternal purposes. It's just rare.

The wrong thing to do.

So. I haven't been running at all this week. I thought it would be a good idea to catch myself up a bit by simply running as hard as I could for as long as I could this morning. I ran a half a mile in like... 3 minutes. Kewl.

But then I felt like I was going to barf up my heart. So I walked the rest of the way.

And now every time I laugh I wheeze like an old man with consumption. (RIP, Satine.)

I'm not going to do that anymore. Okay BYE.

Quote of the Day

Tyler: Did I tell you about my job interview?
Ginger: You said it went.... sexily....?
Tyler: Oh.... yah.

I don't think it's funny.

So, Every other morning or so when I'm walking down the long path to the "employees only" door at work, there is a BYU grounds crew guy mowing the lawn with the wooly mammoth of all lawn mowers. It's huge, and it freaks me out. Also, why are lawn mowers always painted el diablo red? They look menacing and also like they are trying to eat me. The grass cutters fold down like wings of destruction. Shudder.




Anyway. Usually this grounds crew guy just cuts diagonal lines through the field surrounding the sidewalk, having to cut across it every now and then. This is a little bit scary for me, but whatever. I can see where he is coming from and where he is going, so I stifle my horror and maintain my composure.

WELL TODAY he decided to swing around me as I walked by, and drive directly behind me all the way to my office door. I panicked. My little heart started beating super fast. I could see his reflection in the glass doors coming up closer and closer behind me. The last 10 yards I seriously had to restrain myself from breaking into a sprint in my high heels. He is a mean mean lawnmower man. I don't know if he was trying to be funny, but it WAS NOT. I was so disturbed that I didn't even look behind me while he was chasing me.

DARN YOU LAWNMOWER MAN!

If I only had this information when I was in kindergarten.

This guy is being dead serious. Freaked me right out. He believes in elves SOOOOOOOO much.

I had no idea elves were unicorn keepers. Or that they love fruit. Whattayaknow.

Thanks to Miss Crusty for posting this.

Oh Discovery.

Reason 1230984509834098230 Why I love the Discovery Channel:


"Making the Cut"


A documentary on 60-day Army Ranger school.



I seriously marvel at both the psychological and physical endurance it takes to keep from weeping like a wimpy baby while going through the hell that is ranger school. About 100 recruits quit within the first 3 days. The soldiers are sleep deprived and food deprived on purpose. As in... one meal every couple days, 3 hours of sleep every two days. Army Rangers are an elite group. Only the best of the best are even sent to ranger school to begin with. Over the course of 61 days, most of them will lose 30 to 40 pounds. And how hard is it for them to stay awake, let alone do something strenuous? One soldier told the camera one of the tricks of the trade to stay alert:



"Some of these guys put tabasco sauce in their eyes. I haven't tried that yet."

WTFreak?

.....

One time, in highschool, I cussed aloud and then started crying because I dropped a powdered donut on the ground, and I was REALLY hungry. Ranger school is not for me.