Sunday, April 17, 2011

Childhood Horrors and Dove Hauntings

My blogging skills are rusty.... but I feel like I need to document a bit of recent deja-vu that reminded me of some the ridiculous things I was afraid of as a child. I was sitting on my front porch yesterday, soaking up some sun, drinking gatorade, and eating sour gummy worms when I heard this sound:

>
It's a mourning dove, right? ...  WRONG.
That my friends, is the sound of fear.

Once upon a time when I was probably 5-ish and Nicole was probably 2-ish, we decided we wanted to swing on the swings in our back yard. Mom put us on the swings, gave us each a little push, and then went inside to fold laundry. Tami and Jackie were at school, and I wasn't used to being alone in our back yard without an older sibling or an adult. I was already particularly nervous being out there at all because our neighbor's 20 billion cats sometimes walked along our fences, and they scared the bejeebees out of me.

I tried to ignore the cat possibilities and focus on the task at hand. As I was swinging away, ready to dart at the first sign of a cat, I remembered that a nasty possum lived in our back yard. It made it's home in the crack between our fence and the neighbor's house. I began obsessively watching the fence as I swung, because even though I had never actually seen the thing, I just KNEW that at any moment, the evil possum was going to climb out and start harassing me. The more I thought about it, the more likely it was that the possum knew that me and Nicole were out there unsupervised. We were sitting ducks! I froze on my swing. It could attack at any moment! And then, right when I thought I couldn't take it any more.. I heard this sound:

And I assumed it must have been the possum, howling at me through a hole in our fence. I booked it out of there as fast as I could, leaving defenseless little Nicole for possum food. I ran back into the house, relieved to have escaped the clutches of the wicked rodent who had taken over our backyard.
I was inside for a couple minutes before my mom walked into the living room and noticed I was there. She looked at me, horrified, and talk-squeal-scream-asked me where Nicole was. I shrugged my shoulders and told her she was probably still outside. She looked at me and asked-said "You left her out there all by herself!?!?" ... as if I had just knowingly fed my little sister to a monster (which, technically, I thought I had).
She ran outside and came back in with Nicole in her arms. Nicole may have been crying. That part of the memory is foggy. But I know I got in trouble for it. And from that day forward I refused to ever play in the backyard without an older sibling or parent. I knew the possum would never dream of showing its ugly face if someone bigger was outside playing with me. As I got older, I decided that the sound I kept hearing couldn't have been a possum, so for the second half of my childhood I assumed the sound came from a friendly little owl that lived in my neighbor's palm tree. Still a little creepy I'd say. In real life, it was a dove. But every time I hear that freaking dove call, a shiver still runs down my spine. Gew.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Dear Nienie,

I'm officially breaking up with you. I used to read your blog religiously. You have a very inspiring story, and I know you have had a really hard life. But I do not want to see pictures of your kid drooling from his crusty-chocolate-snot-mouth anymore, nor do I ever want to see a montage of your dog pooping and then eating his own excrement ever again.

It's over.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Mondays

Mondays oh I hate mondays... they make me-hee so steamed.

WEEEEEEkend I wait for the WEEEEEEEEEkend. Uh uhuh uh uh uh uhhhhhh.



Will Ferrel-as-the-devil, you understand my heart.

It was warm this morning. Then it windy-ed. Then it rained. Then it snowed. Then it sunny-ed. I haven't realllllly blogged in a good ole while. I've been busy. With what you say?

  • Looking for a new place to rent - I just want to live out the rest of my BYU days in a cozy and cheap little student housing house, Okay???? They are great. I'll update you when I make a final decision.
  • Trying to sell my contract - Girls get crazy. That's all I'm going to say about THAT.
  • Going to work - Just when I think I've heard it all, I talk to another cuckoo head that blows my mind. It keeps me on my toes.
  • Going to school - All I'm going to say, is that I DOMINTATED school this semester. Straight A-'s on all my midterms so far. Booyaaah seasonal depression, Booyah.
  • Working out (almost) every day - I have done 18 out of 21 days in my second attempt at the thirty day shred. But sometimes I just was sick. Or needed to rest. Or was lazy. So, I made up for lost time on Saturday by doing level 2 Twice within one hour. Holy freaking smokes. I was basically a big lump of unresponsive Jello for most of the day after that. But my legs are sexy. I can't lie.
  • Watching March Madness - I have turned into a basketball-watching freakshow. Do I have a TV? No. But I have friends with TVs. AND.....ESPN.com is the BOMB. And my bracket is freaking trashed. Thanks Purdue. I had you in the championship game you hussy.
  • Growing flowers - I have a feeling this attempt is going to fail yet again. But I just like it.
  • Keeping my room clean. Yes. That's right. At this moment in time a pen, a belt, and my scriptures are the only things on my floor. (Okay plus one shirt and some books you can't see. But whatever.) I'm a grown up with a clean room. I seriously just took this picture on a whim while I was in the middle of writing this blog, just to illustrate my point:
Ya. I'm that awesome.

I'm also wearing a pair of jeans that were too small for me three weeks ago.

Win win win.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Quiet and Loud

I feel like there are two types of boys at BYU. The quiet gentleman, and the rowdy jerk. WHY oh WHY can't there be a rowdy gentleman? I just don't do well with quiet boys. I feel like I'm a super loud freakshow whenever I'm around them. But... I get along GREAT with semi-rowdy boys. You know. Funny and loud when its appropriate, quiet and respectful when appropriate. I've met (dated) a few of these semi-rowdy boys, and you know what? They have all been Jerkface McJerkersons. Seriously. Quiet nice boys hold the door open for me when I'm walking into a building. Semi-rowdy boys never do. Quiet nice boys don't kiss other girls faces when they are supposed to be dating only one girl. Semi-rowdy boys do. But quiet nice boys don't make my heart go all a flutter. But nice semi-rowdy boys do.

I just want a semi-rowdy boy who is not a jerk.

Thank you and goodnight.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Penguin Classics



I cannot even describe to you how badly I want every single penguin classic book in this style. They. Are. GORGEOUS. The covers are all hardback designed by Coralie Bickford-Smith. Being a bit of a bookbinder myself, these make me DROOL. Good job, Penguin, for hiring such an awesome lady to do your designs. I want I want I want.

I am way more likely to read a pretty book than a boring looking book. I am also a sucker for pretty packaging. I can't help how shallow I am when it comes to every day objects.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Giving up, Roosevelt, and Mardi Gras

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time:
TEDDY ROOSEVELT Posters
Seeing as how it's mardi gras season, I decided what I'm giving up for lent and/or the rest of my life. I'm not Catholic, but I'm all about healthy change.

I'm giving up giving up.
 I mean "giving up" as in quitting, wimping out, not finishing what I've started... etc. I think this is a great idea for me. I give up on multiple things daily. Here are a few things just off the top of my head that I've given up on lately:


  • I had every intention of shaving my legs yesterday. But I gave up because I was tired. Sometimes I give up mid-leg.
  • I put a freshly cleaned load of laundry on my bed in hopes of putting it away before the day's end. But I gave up and put it back in the laundry basket when bedtime rolled around.
  • I've given up on doing my hair for the last three days after intending to look attractive.
  • I give up at least 5 games of sudoku daily. (My sudoku addiction is none of your business)
  • I have musical ADD. It's rare that I ever listen to a song in its entirety.
  • I started 5 "Things That Must Go" blogs and haven't finished any of them.
  • I'm on day 10 of my second round of the 30 Day Shred. Because I gave up the first time after 14 days (and losing 8 pounds) because I felt like being lazy during Christmas time. Not. Acceptable. I gained it alllllllll back. And it was a total cop out because I actually liked the exercise. I just wanted to be lazy. Period.
And that is just a small sample. I'm excited for this, but I know it is also going to be taxing. I already tested myself today on my Mardi Gras resolution.

I've been feeling sick all day, and when my friends Brittany and Sam came over to do our daily shred, I *almost* stayed in my cozy little sick bed. But I remembered that it was better to suffer for a good cause than to be a can't hack it pantywaist. So I started and finished the whole workout, despite the fact that I sincerely believed that I was going to poop my pants for at least 35% of the time I spent exercising.

Like my bro Teddy Roosevelt says:

In the end, it's better to have worked out and pooped your pants than to never have worked out at all.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

BYU Student Section Flash Mob



I honestly didn't think this was going to be as awesome as it turned out to be. Yay for cute BYU students!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Why Brigham, You look so fancy.



I walked past the ASB last week after it had snowed, and the Brigham Young statue looked like this:


And I immediately imagined something like this:


And it made me sooooo happy.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

U Really Got A Hold On Me



This is one of my most memorable sesame street memories. I remembered it existed when I was listening to The Beatles version of "You Really Got a Hold On Me"in the car yesterday. I always remembered it as being the H that was stalking him... but I guess U makes a whole lot more sense. Thank you, Sesame Street, for teaching so many creepy life lessons.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Quote of the Day




"You can shut your whore mouth when Jimmer's shooting free throws..."