He's got 72 hours. Then its down to Davy Jones' Locker. Then maybe I'll tell the story. I didn't want to jinx it.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Scuttle the Dream Boat
He's got 72 hours. Then its down to Davy Jones' Locker. Then maybe I'll tell the story. I didn't want to jinx it.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Spicy Mole??
So, there's this sign on the front of the Del Taco building, and we were driving past it one day...
Michelle: "Ew? Spicy Mole??? Who wants to eat that?"
Me: "Its probably pronounced 'mo-ley' like guacamole..."
Michelle: "Ew? Spicy Mole??? Who wants to eat that?"
Me: "Its probably pronounced 'mo-ley' like guacamole..."
But its just more fun to say spicy mole. So, after we drove past Del Taco we went into McDonald's and the guy working at the cash register had a giant nasty hairy mole on his neck. The hair was like 2 inches long, and it was pointing upward!!
He had a spicy mole. That is our new term for hairy moles. And it makes me want to vomit every time.
Yes yes, I say extremely awkward things.
So. There's this guy in my ward. And he has an almost fiance, and he is always missing in action for ward functions. So tonight at ward prayer, this guy was there. And so, we had our ward prayer and ward spotlight and the "service chicken". The service chicken is a rubber chicken we pass around the ward and whoever has the chicken that week has to do some extra service and then share it at ward prayer. Weird. We also have a missionary egg to the same effect. I don't know what the obsession with poultry is. Anyway. Back to the awkward.
After everyone started wandering back to the apartment in charge of providing treats, the people behind me were having a heart to heart, and then Mr. Always Missing from church functions said aloud:
"Ya, so I dumped her on Tuesday!"
Me: "What?" as I whirled around, obviously eavesdropping.
Guy: Blank Stare.
Me: Realizing that Guy and I had never really talked to eachother. I only heard stories of his fiance from his roommates.
Guy: "What?"
Me Again: "Oh what? Nevermind." as I turned around and continued toward the treats.
Awkward. Party of fifteen. It was awesome.
After everyone started wandering back to the apartment in charge of providing treats, the people behind me were having a heart to heart, and then Mr. Always Missing from church functions said aloud:
"Ya, so I dumped her on Tuesday!"
Me: "What?" as I whirled around, obviously eavesdropping.
Guy: Blank Stare.
Me: Realizing that Guy and I had never really talked to eachother. I only heard stories of his fiance from his roommates.
Guy: "What?"
Me Again: "Oh what? Nevermind." as I turned around and continued toward the treats.
Awkward. Party of fifteen. It was awesome.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The List
Most single girls have a list. You know. The list. The list your Young Women's leader made you write every time there was a lesson on eternal marriage. The list I'm sometimes ashamed to write down unless someone makes it an assignment, because that would just make me feel like a silly idealistic girl. Writing the list by myself, imagining what life will be like when I find a guy matching every major point on my list...Why don't I just put my hair in curlers and watch a chick flick in my bunny slippers while I'm at it?
I have never really made a full honest to goodness list worth keeping around. I don't have one tucked away somewhere in my scriptures or journal. Maybe I'm so lame at dating because I'm not looking. I don't even know what I'm looking for, so of course I'm not finding it.
Monday, July 21, 2008
What Have You Done With My Name?
So... today at work I got a letter. Not just any letter. A letter from an INMATE. Some of our independent study students are prisoners who are furthering their education, and we're all for that.
BUT. This one inmate wrote in to the front desk asking a pretty generic customer service question. SO. I wrote him back. And not thinking, signed my last name. This is something I always have to do, because there are two Kristins in my office. I usually don't think about it. Maybe this time I should have. OOPS. I figured it would only be like a one time deal, and didn't give it any thought. That was back in March.
He wrote to us again, and this time ADDRESSED his letter to me. Shudder. What have I done?. I reluctantly opened the letter, skimming over the caution on the prison envelope that reads as follows:
THIS WAS MAILED BY AN
OFFENDER CONFINED AT A
WASHINGTON STATE DEPT OF
CORRECTIONS FACILITY. ITS
CONTENTS MAY BE UNCENSORED.
It wasn't a creepy letter, just another regular student concern about changing his address because he got transferred to a different facility. I don't know. Something about it just unnerved me. He's really nice, and I've been pretty awesome at helping him out. But ya know... he's in prison for a reason. So now that this guy has my full name and place of employment, my mind started to wander and now I'm a little paranoid. I don't know if I should be nice to him or mean to him. Its not my place to judge, but I just don't want him getting out of jail and coming to thank me. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares about it. Because then if I'm rude to him, I don't want him getting out of jail and murdering me. But then AGAIN... what if he just like, forged a check or something? Then I don't really have to worry.
So I had this burning desire to find out what he was in for. SO I decided to play detective and look up his public records online. Bad idea. My little pen pal has no less than NINE. Count them 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 counts of sex crimes divided between child molestation in the second degree and child rape in the the first degree.
So. I'm having kind of an anxiety attack over it. So, my friend at work and I decided to google my name and see what came up. You know. See if my prisoner friend could in any way find me when he got out with my name. Turns out, Kristin Booth is a popular Canadian actress.
She is kind of a ho. Not a total ho, but she kinda looks ho-ish. She has her own website. www.kristinbooth.net . Its kind of funny. Except she has ruined my name, and if I ever become famous, there will be two of us, and I'm going to have to battle her.
BUT. This one inmate wrote in to the front desk asking a pretty generic customer service question. SO. I wrote him back. And not thinking, signed my last name. This is something I always have to do, because there are two Kristins in my office. I usually don't think about it. Maybe this time I should have. OOPS. I figured it would only be like a one time deal, and didn't give it any thought. That was back in March.
He wrote to us again, and this time ADDRESSED his letter to me. Shudder. What have I done?. I reluctantly opened the letter, skimming over the caution on the prison envelope that reads as follows:
THIS WAS MAILED BY AN
OFFENDER CONFINED AT A
WASHINGTON STATE DEPT OF
CORRECTIONS FACILITY. ITS
CONTENTS MAY BE UNCENSORED.
It wasn't a creepy letter, just another regular student concern about changing his address because he got transferred to a different facility. I don't know. Something about it just unnerved me. He's really nice, and I've been pretty awesome at helping him out. But ya know... he's in prison for a reason. So now that this guy has my full name and place of employment, my mind started to wander and now I'm a little paranoid. I don't know if I should be nice to him or mean to him. Its not my place to judge, but I just don't want him getting out of jail and coming to thank me. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares about it. Because then if I'm rude to him, I don't want him getting out of jail and murdering me. But then AGAIN... what if he just like, forged a check or something? Then I don't really have to worry.
So I had this burning desire to find out what he was in for. SO I decided to play detective and look up his public records online. Bad idea. My little pen pal has no less than NINE. Count them 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 counts of sex crimes divided between child molestation in the second degree and child rape in the the first degree.
So. I'm having kind of an anxiety attack over it. So, my friend at work and I decided to google my name and see what came up. You know. See if my prisoner friend could in any way find me when he got out with my name. Turns out, Kristin Booth is a popular Canadian actress.
She is kind of a ho. Not a total ho, but she kinda looks ho-ish. She has her own website. www.kristinbooth.net . Its kind of funny. Except she has ruined my name, and if I ever become famous, there will be two of us, and I'm going to have to battle her.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Can it be?
While I was driving home tonight, I turned on the AC in my car and it smelled like summer/fall outside! It smelled like a hay field. I'm so excited for fall I could basically explode. It is my very favorite season. I like it more than all the other seasons combined. If fall were a guy, I would marry it. If I had the choice between being a millionaire or having fall year round, I would really rather just have it be fall all the time. I don't know why. I just love it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Minty Goodness
Yes, Rebecca, I am shamefully stealing your blog idea. I started to write a huuuge comment on your toothpaste blog, and then decided that was annoying. So I'm making it a blog of my own. At least now everyone will be annoyed.
I heart Crest Clean Mint toothpaste with extra whitening. I carry a tube with me wherever I take my toothbrush, because I would rather die than use any other kind. Okay that would be ridiculous for me to say. But I would rather go without brushing than use any other toothpaste. And THAT would make everyone else want to die.
Its just a precious commodity for me. Its super duper minty and leaves your mouth feeling sooo so clean! I got a little miffed on our family vacation to the grand canyon because I suspected everyone was jealous of my toothpaste, and my fears were not unfounded. Everyone used up the very last of my precious tube.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Day Makers and Breakers.
So. Its about that time to list some of my recent day makers and day breakers.
Day Makers:
1. The repair man came and fixed my air conditioner! It was a blessed, blessed day. I no longer have to sleep with a fan on my windowsill blowing the still warm, but not burning, night air through to replace the air in Dante's Inferno a.k.a. my room.
2. Whilst at work, I met the man of my dreams, hitherto known as "dreamboat". No one believes me. That probably has something to do with the fact that I am very easily smitten by attractive guys who come in to take tests. But. Honestly. This one guy came in to take his midterm, and we talked. And I will never be the same. If he has a girlfriend or is engaged, my life won't be over, but it will be the most pungent day breaker of all time. I'll let you know how things go when he comes in to take his final. Because yes, he will still be the number 1 dreamboat at a that time too.
Day Breakers:
1. I stepped on a needle this morning right when I got out of the shower. It was sticking straight up out of my carpet. Luckily, the sharp end was buried in the floor, so only about one fourth of the dull end punctured the ball of my foot. But OUCH.
2. Also today: I boarded the bus, and as I was walking to my seat the bus driver accelerated REALLY fast. My little flat shoes were not made for that kind of stress, so I slid into a semi-split position in the aisle way. In a skirt. I got about 1/3 of the way down to the floor before I caught myself. With a smile and an audible "whoops!" I made my way back to the bench. Everyone pretended not to see, but I know they all did.
Splits are awkward.
3. Hellfather called back the day after he made me cry and complained about ME. He said he would rate my customer service as an "F". How excellent.
Day Makers:
1. The repair man came and fixed my air conditioner! It was a blessed, blessed day. I no longer have to sleep with a fan on my windowsill blowing the still warm, but not burning, night air through to replace the air in Dante's Inferno a.k.a. my room.
2. Whilst at work, I met the man of my dreams, hitherto known as "dreamboat". No one believes me. That probably has something to do with the fact that I am very easily smitten by attractive guys who come in to take tests. But. Honestly. This one guy came in to take his midterm, and we talked. And I will never be the same. If he has a girlfriend or is engaged, my life won't be over, but it will be the most pungent day breaker of all time. I'll let you know how things go when he comes in to take his final. Because yes, he will still be the number 1 dreamboat at a that time too.
Day Breakers:
1. I stepped on a needle this morning right when I got out of the shower. It was sticking straight up out of my carpet. Luckily, the sharp end was buried in the floor, so only about one fourth of the dull end punctured the ball of my foot. But OUCH.
2. Also today: I boarded the bus, and as I was walking to my seat the bus driver accelerated REALLY fast. My little flat shoes were not made for that kind of stress, so I slid into a semi-split position in the aisle way. In a skirt. I got about 1/3 of the way down to the floor before I caught myself. With a smile and an audible "whoops!" I made my way back to the bench. Everyone pretended not to see, but I know they all did.
Splits are awkward.3. Hellfather called back the day after he made me cry and complained about ME. He said he would rate my customer service as an "F". How excellent.
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