Sunday, February 21, 2010

Thank You, Universe.

We did a dating panel a couple weeks ago for a church activity. For one part of it, we passed out papers to all the boys in Sunday School and asked them to write down things they like about girls and the positive things girls can do in the dating world. My roommate was in charge of compiling all the data. She ran up to my room and had me look at this piece of paper:

"Just Be Yourself

Kristin Booth does a great job at this. She is a great example.
(I really appreciate you for this Kristin.)"

Sigh. Totally unsolicited and completely awesome compliment by an anonymous young man?


Thank you, Universe. I needed that.


Body Image.

Why does it matter so much? Why is my self esteem inversely related to the fluctuation of my dress size? Why does it have that kind of power? Why do even the nicest of boys put things like "FP" on their list of things to avoid in future spouses. What is "FP" you ask? It stands for "Fat Potential." As in, the likelihood that a certain girl will let herself go and end up being a fat wife. Because heaven forbid she gain a single pound after bearing children and dealing with life and the stress of motherhood.

I learned about "FP" tonight while talking to a couple of guys who I thought the world of.

Several things in the last week have eroded my faith in humanity and snapped the last skinny little thread I've been hanging onto my self confidence with. Not to mention the nearly complete obliteration of my belief that it just may be possible for someone to fall in love with me exactly the way I am. But no, not in this town. I have Fat Potential written all over my thighs and I always will.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dear Brandon

Dear Brandon...

I was always so excited to play at your house when I was little. I'm sure a good amount of that excitement came from Jackie, who told me there were frogs living under your deck. I never saw any. I was also very jealous of your pets and the tree swing in your backyard.

One night, my mom let me and a couple of my sisters sleep over at your house. I woke up in the middle of the night. It was really hot, and I had a rough time trying to get back to sleep. My edginess transitioned into absolute panic when my beloved blue silly putty slipped through a crack in the bed frame. I watched in horror as it rolled under the trundle bed, away from the glow of the nightlight. That's when I completely lost it. I started crying and crying. I know everyone in the house probably heard me screaming, and yet you were the only one who came to see what was wrong. After rescuing my silly putty from the dark abyss, you asked if it would be okay if you put it on the bookshelf. That way I could see it, but it would be safe from being dropped and lost again. I agreed. After I calmed down you went back to bed. Before I fell back asleep, I rememeber thinking it wouldn't be so bad to have a brother.

I'm sorry I never said thank you for saving my silly putty. It's one of the fondest cousin-memories I have from my childhood. I'm sorry you were so sick for so long. I'm glad you are in a better place now.



I have falled off the wagon...

I think today was the first time I have purchases all three of these shameful items at once.

It's because I eat my feelings okay. And I have a lot of feelings.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Lord of the Dance

Dear Mystery Co-worker,

Thank you for practicing your irish folk dance moves in the break room while you are waiting for your leftovers to be warmed in our microwave. I applaud your time management skills. And thank you for facing the other direction so that I could film you. I only wish I had started recording sooner. These 5 meager seconds left me wanting more. As you were.



P.S. this is real. I heart BYU.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


Dibs on having this as my wedding song. I've done it here, in front of the world wide interwebs. One of my friends had never heard of it. So I started singing it to her in my best Uncle Jesse voice.... and I drew a blank. I got through the first line(which is tender enough) but that just wouldn't cut it. A song with so much feeling needed to be heard uninterrupted. A young gentleman then proceeded to look up the video on YouTube (on his phone) so that as many of us as could crowd around would be able to enjoy it in all its splendor. Feast upon this tenderness:

I mean look at him shrugging his little shoulders to the beat of that song while he wails on that piano.

This WILL be my wedding song. And I will just die. Only my dress will not be nearly as awesome as Aunt Becky's. And I will use the version recorded by the Beach Boys in 1970 because Jesse and the Rippers will have no place at my reception what with their tight pants and mullets and frizzy haired bimbo groupies. Although I'm sure John Stamos would be honored to grace me with his presence.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Brad Paisely Memories

I was organizing the files on my computer today and I came across this gem. It's a recording of Brad singing "I Thought I Loved You Then" at his concert in September. Don't worry. Lisa and I are in the frontest front row. We comment during this video accordingly. Also, the audio picked up some man singing it horribly who was standing next to us. And Brad looked at him like, dude: shut the freak up. Just watch the whole thing. You won't be sorry.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Kind of Like a Journal... ?

I'm going to make my blog into a book. As in. I'm in the process of formatting it. I just don't trust the world wide interwebs to hold onto my precious memories forever. I'd much rather have something to file away on my bookshelf as a back up plan. It's going to be kewl. And I am going to be my own number 1 reader.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

BYU has joined the dark side.

Or, the grounds crew team who drive this service truck have joined the dark side. BYU = Nerds galore. I kind of love it. Behold:

Yep. I saw this beauty walking from work to class. This is on an official BYU service vehicle. How. Embarrassing.

Oh Yah!

This made me laugh. That is all.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Man vs. Machine

Why thank you, dearest printer, for finally printing my documents correctly after a year of refusing to print in anything other than colored ink. I knew the black ink cartridge was fine. I just knew it. It looks like I won this battle in the war of wills.

Pull that crap again and I'll feed you toilet paper. I will. Until we meet again, technology...

Crankity Crank Crank

I have been cranky for the last month. I apologize for secretly and not so secretly wanting to kick everyone in the face. I love you all.

P.S. I quit facebook. FO REALS this time.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Dear Classmate,

If you are realllllly hot and sweaty, do not sit by me. Especially if I'm next to the wall. When you take off your coat, hot air wafts toward me like you are a human space heater. You make me feel like I'm trapped in a sweaty oven with your hair. PLUS. You keep poking me with your notebook. Please respect the armrest as an invisible cootie barrier. You are ruining my life.

Love, but actually hate,