Saturday, May 22, 2010

This made me laugh harder than I thought was possible.

Yesterday, work was long. And kind of boring. But also annoying. And never-ending. I had read through my usual cycle of blogs, giggled a few times at MLIA, but mostly I was just wishing I could disapperate to a sunny land far far away with my hammock.

Then, one of my work BFFs told me to go look at a blog she had just discovered randomly.

I read, I laughed, I cried.

Literally. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. The blog post I read was about random annoying things that cause the author to spiral into a vortex of hatred when they all add up, one annoyance after the other. Each annoying occurence was depicted with a scene created in some sort of paint program. Genius. Tears not only welled up in my eyes, but spilled out profusely. I don't think I have ever cried so hard out of laughter in my entire life. Seriously. I couldn't breathe for like 10 minutes. This picture is what pushed me over the edge:

To read it, go HERE!!!!!!!!

And, you are welcome.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A Mile a Morning (love handles take warning)

Can I just say, that I am giving myself a pat on the back right now? Really. I just patted myself on the back. Why? Because I run. Almost every day. Lets pretend this is a huge accomplishment for me (because it IS) shall we? I'll honor you with a Q and A session. I will be both the interviewer and the celebrity interviewee.

Q: How far do I run?

A: Typically, 1 mile.

Q: How much of that is spent actually running, not walking?

A: At least 80%

Q: Have I yet to run 1 whole mile in my life without walking?

A: It's possible that it occurred once or twice in my high school "fit for life" class, but no such occasion has ever been documented.

Q: What are my current exercise goals?

A: I want to be able to run a mile without stopping. Or crying. Or dying.

Q: Do I time myself?

A: No. But I think I'll start once I can make it the whole mile. I'm working toward eventually beating my fastest time ever. Which was 9 minutes flat. In the 8th grade.

Q: How sexy do I look when I am running?

A: Zero sexiness achieved.

Q: How awesome do I feel when I go running?

A: Pretttttty awesome.

Q: Man, how do I do it?

A: With the enormous power contained in a little thing I like to call Bojangles (the iPod).

Q: What's on your jogging playlist?


Candyman..............................Christina Aguilera
Armada Latina.......................Cypress Hill
Pretty Woman........................Roy Orbison
Suzie Q.....................................CCR
Crazy Love...............................Michael Buble
(I don't know why. But this song inspires me to run. Perhaps on the wings of love.)
Money......................................Barrett Strong
Songs Like This.......................Carrie Underwood

Q: Interesting. Do I run during bouts of inclement weather?

A: You bet your buns.

Q: Do I enjoy running in the rain?

A: Yes. Except for the sensation on my forehead that I imagine feels quite similar to Chinese water torture.

Q: Have I ever biffed it big time?

A: Not yet. My shoes are glorious and springy and quite grippy.

Q: Have I started drinking water like a crazy woman?

A: Why yes, yes I do. And I don't save any for the whales.

Thank you. Those are all the questions I have time for. Good day.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Blog Soup

There are just too many things to write about and too little time. Therefore, I will post a series of pictures with short explanations in an attempt to catch up on my blogging.

I saw this box of tissues at Smith's. And I immediately stopped in my tracks and just stared at it. I wanted it. I picked it up. I almost put it in my cart, and then I remembered that I don't really have a need for kleenex. Ever. In fact, I don't think I have ever bought or used a box of tissues in my whole entire college career. I'm not too proud to blow my nose in toilet paper. But man, packaging just GETS me.

One of my spring classes brings me a huge amount of entertainment and happiness. One of them does not. It's boring. And so, I find myself putting several tiny "Sulley" braids in my hair throughout the hour and a half lecture. And then I take pictures. And text them to friends.

Okay, so mine isn't nearly as majestic as Sully's. His is down to his waist. And beaded.

Also, it is duckling season. This mama duck put its head down, wings out, and tried to ram me. I wasn't going to steal one of her babies. I just thought about it for a second, okay?!

When I wear these shoes, it looks like I have cloven hooves. All you can see are my two biggest toes poking out of the "peep" toe. It makes me giggle when I walk. And I said giggle, not jiggle.

Look closely. That is the heard of moms crossing the street during women's conference. They are like a plague. They fill the streets and cause reckless mayhem all over BYU's campus. A pox upon your houses, women's conference!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Oh Dinner Group... How I love you.

So. I'm in a dinner group with some friends in my ward. There are 8 of us, and we rotate who cooks dinner for the other 7 from Monday - Thursday. That way. You only make one big dinner every 2 weeks, and you can enjoy everyone else's big dinner on the other days. I eat sooooo much better than I did before!

Dinner group is also an excellent time to socialize. We discuss a wide variety of topics and they are usually hilarious. A couple days ago, one of our conversations went like this:

Me: "Where did you go on your mission?"

Boy : "Argentina."

Me: "I know so many people who went to Argentina and South America."
Girl: "All my friends went to Brazil."

Boy: "Have you guys ever seen a capybara?"

Girl: "I tried to go see one at the zoo one time, but it wouldn't come out."

Me: "They are so crazy. They look like giant guinnea pigs. I watched Krat's Creatures. I know."

Other Girl: "Aren't they like, a Rous? Rodent of unusual size?"

Other Boy: "Ya they are like, giant and cat-like."

Boy: "Ya. I ate one."

Everyone: " ..... "

Sick. But also kind of funny.