Swine.

I'm pretty sure I have the swine flu. And I'm not even being sarcastic. I've been kind of sick since last Friday, and really sick since late Sunday night. At first I just thought it was a cold, so I just went about my business being a social butterfly. Also, I become very snuggly when I'm sick. Like a teddy bear with smallpox. I apologize.

Anyway, last night I still felt super nasty... so my roommate and I looked up the swine flu symptoms and what not. They include: fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Don't worry, because I have only experienced all of them. Yes, it could just be the regular flu, but I haven't been this sick with a cold for a long time. I didn't even get a cold last winter at all, so maybe its double duty this time.

So, we can approach this two ways.

First, I could quarantine myself and be super bored and miserable for the rest of the week.

OR. We could throw me a swine flu party. Anyone and everyone who loves me more than they value their own health is invited. We could have pigs in a blanket, ham sanwiches, bacon and the such. We could also watch Babe. I will do my hair in pigtails. It will be fab. Optional face masks would be provided. Don't pretend like you don't think it will be fun. I'm seriously considering it.

One question still remains in my mind... where did I catch the piggy flu? I'll tell you where. Because it just came to me. Last week, I was grocery shopping at Smith's and the checker in the line next to me was totally sick. He kept sneezing and being nasty. Also, he had a pony tail. Anyway. He sneezed a huge sneeze right next to me. THEN. I went home. When I got home I couldn't find my keys, so I went back to Smith's to ask if they had them in the lost and found. I talked to Mr. Ponytail, because he is old and funny and also nice. They didn't have my keys, so I went home and looked some more. The next day I went back to Smith's to see if they had been turned in. Again I was in the vicintity of Mr. Ponytail. And FINALLY... I went to Smith's AGAIN a couple days later to pick up some snacks for a work party. The Provo Smith's is a freaking petri dish. It all makes sense.

Call me if you want to be infected.