This is probably what it feels like to be completely high.

This is a really long blog.

Sunday night / Monday morning I woke up with a horrible migraine. I don't know if any of you have ever been shaken from your slumber by something that feels like a porcupine had babies in your brain, but it really was not a pleasant experience. I was awake from like 2 something in the morning until 5 something in the morning. At first I was so tired that I didn't really understand what was happening, and had no reasoning skills... so I didn't take any medicine for like an hour. It's like when you have to pee in the middle of the night but you hope the feeling will just go away because you are too tired to pee. It always ends the same way. You wet the bed. Just kidding. Hopefully you don't. I never have. Anyway. It always ends up that I eventually get out of my bed to go to the bathroom, but only after I have been trying to avoid it for an hour. And then I'm all cranky because instead of losing 5 minutes of sleep I've lost a lot more trying to ignore my bladder.

Anyway. It was kind of like that. So when I finally turned on my light to find some headache medicine, I beheld a mammoth arachnid building a fort on my wall behind my lamp. I hadn't seen any spideys for a while because Gma and Gpa Booth gave me a no-pest strip that pretty much bombed them all a couple weeks ago, but I lent it to a friend who ALSO lives in a basement.

Long story short, I panicked so I grabbed my aerosol hairspray and started spraying. I felt kind of like Mr. Freeze because the nasty nast was soon encased in an ice-like maximum hold shell. Then he fell off the wall. I was satisfied. I then took 1000 miligrams of generic Tylenol, gave the spider an extra spray for good measure, emailed my boss to tell her I might be late the next morning, and got back into bed.

I woke up about an hour and a half after my shift at work began, but my headache was gone so I jumped out of bed and got to work quicker than I usually do.

I had a ton of energy, and I was in a really good mood. I stayed a little late after work to make up some hours, and then went to my first class which I enjoyed immensely. Right after class I decided to go to the grocery store because I had nothing to eat.

That's when things got a little weird.

For whatever reason, I bought two six-packs of Ramen, two boxes of oatmeal, protein shakes (for which I had a coupon) and some cabbage.

This is abnormal. I think my thought was that I needed to spend as little money as possible, and that I wanted Ramen, but it wasn't nutritious enough, so I bought some shredded cabbage to put in it? Abnormal. Oh. I also bought a toffee almond symphony bar because I just felt like it okay!?

Anyway. I went home and made Ramen (with cabbage) and ate it. It wasn't too bad. That was abnormal as well.

I went to my second class, met with  my group for a group project... and then I went to buy gummy bears in preparation for our FHE gingerbread house competition. They only had sour gummy worms... so... I ate them all in the car on the way to FHE. That actually wasn't abnormal. When we got there, my roommate and I decided to make a pyramid out of graham crackers. I kept failing, so I then spent a considerable amount of time making a camel out of lemon heads, red vines, and toothpicks. Slightly abnormal. But not completely.

I then drove off to target on a whim looking for no pest strips. I found none. I then stared at a jumbo sized lint roller, debating whether or not I needed it, for far too long. No seriously. For like 10 minutes. This was abnormal. Even for a migraine brain.

I finally ditched my cart and the lint roller and went to Walmart instead. Got spidey killer. I got home... parked my car and finished the burger I had picked up on the way home. BUT instead of going into my house, I started driving to the grocery store because I had an intense desire to eat a chocolate pudding pie. This kind:

 
Although I do love these and have since childhood, this was also abnormal.

Sooooooo I went to smiths for the second time... and even though I had an awesome parking spot... Smith's did not have any home run pies. Since my gas light had been on for an unknown amount of time, I stopped at the smith's gas station sans home run pie to fill up. This was not abnormal.

This is when things got really, really weird. 

I pulled up to a gas pump on the passenger side of my car, but then I thought to myself: "I am crazy, the gas pump is on the driver's side... duh" so without getting out to look, I drove over and repositioned my car next to a different pump. But that felt wrong, because I suddenly remembered that the gas tank is on the driver's side on all my parent's cars... but not on my car. So I turned around and pulled up to the THIRD gas pump of the night and pumped my gas. This was abnormal. It also took me a very long time to position my car parallel to the pump.

As I was pumping my gas, I began to reflect upon my strange behavior. As I got into my car, still reflecting, I shut my messy-bun in my car door. I don't know how I managed to do that without causing myself great cranial harm, but I did. That was really weird. I freed my hair and collected my thoughts.

After that I decided it would be a good idea to go home. So I went home again. But then I pulled away from my house because I knew I would not be happy until I had eaten a dang chocolate pie. Leaving home for the second time without getting out of my car was doubly abnormal.

I instinctively headed towards Smith's, until I realized that I had just been there like 15 minutes ago. So then I started heading toward the university mall because my little fried sleep deprived brain had this thought: "I'm sure there is a grocery store up that way that will have chocolate pudding pies".... Which was abnormal, because I knew there were no grocery stores in that direction. As I was passing olive garden I realized that what I was doing was ridiculous because it was 10:20 at night and I had been aimlessly driving around looking for pest strips and chocolate pies for over an hour. So. I headed back home.

But then I stopped at Maceys... because I wanted a freaking miniature chocolate pie. And of course... I couldn't find any. And I hate maceys. So that was even more abnormal than it already was. I crankily grabbed a bag of chocolate covered pretzels and made my way home. This was the first rational decision I had made for hours.

Halfway to my home I was almost half way through the bag (the kind that has 5 servings). ... and I realized I wasn't even hungry and they didn't even taste good. When I made it to my house.. I parked in front and still tried to eat the pretzels. And then I got grossed out so I took the last handful of pretzels out of the bag and spit out a mouthful of partially chewed pretzels back into the bag. This was abnormal.

But then I realized my logic had failed me, because I was left with a handful of pretzels and no where to put them but my mouth. So I started eating them again. And then I started getting grossed out again, so I once again spit them out into the bag. This was again, extremely abnormal.

And then I came inside. And I thought I should document this day. Because it was so, so very strange. Seriously.

*****

I wrote that blog post last night. But don't be fooled. I spent a considerable amount of time today decoding it in a way that the non-brain-dead population could understand. 

Thank you and goodnight.

Four blogs in one.

 What I'm about to show you may be disturbing. Consider yourself warned.








What are these? Why these are mug rugs of course! Which are.... tiny little quilts people make to put their mugs and treats on. I'm sorry... I was under the impression that plates and coasters already did those jobs for us? I apologize to mug rug lovers in advance... but mug rugs are creepy to me. If you happen to make mug rugs, you might as well only make one... because no one wants to drink hot cocoa or tea with mug rug makers. People who walk into your house and see that you have taken time out of your already bleak social life to painstakingly quilt tiny little fabric coasters will be horrified and leave. They'll  be like, "Mug Rugs? BYE..." Quilts just should not be made for inanimate objects. Mugs don't need blankies. Someone who makes mug rugs probably also makes quilts for each member of their secret creepy teddy bear collection, which your guest will assume you tuck in every night in before you go to bed. Why does the quilter inside of me think some of them are cute. Stop it stop it stop it.

ALSO. I had to jump-start two cars yesterday. One was mine... One was a boy's. A boy "helped" me jump start my car earlier in the day after I left my headlights on by accident. I was inside my car... getting ready to text my roommates to come help me when the guy next to me started his car. I jumped out of my car and knocked on his window. He just looked at me for a weird second or two and then rolled his window down. I asked if he could help me jump start my car and he looked super uncomfortable and said "I've never really done this" or "I don't really know how to do this" or something like that. Step aside homeboy... I'm an expert. I assured him that I knew how and that I had cables and everything. He popped his hood and nervously questioned my every move, timidly holding the clamps while I was getting everything all set up. Anyway. The jump start was a success. I thanked him profusely and he got in his car and started feverishly texting someone. Or maybe he googled "how to jump start a car" because that was probably embarrassing for him. I am a girl after all... Anyway. I drove home and all was well. Later that night my roommate's friend's car died in front of our house. He called one of his buddies to come jump start it for him... but in the middle of the phone call I was like "uh... One of us can just jump start it for you..." and he was like "Really??!??!?" and I was like "Yah....?" So we went out side and I jump started his car as well. I'm not really making fun of him, but he didn't even know how to prop up his hood with the little rod inside of it. I found it and did it for him, and he was like "Uh.... is that going to stay up?!??!?!?" ... Why does every boy think I am an idiot? Anyway. Both boys were pretty clueless. I thought testosterone automatically developed a special part in the male brain that ensured all men knew how to do all the things that men should naturally know how to do... Like jump start a car... But I guess I was wrong.

Additionally.. I was belting out Adele in my parked car yesterday while I was studying for a test. This isn't really weird for me, but I kept feeling this strange breeze and I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Whatever. I continued. And then I felt the breeze again. Half way through the song I looked back and both of my back windows were somehow rolled down. Personally, when I sing "someone like you" I'm pretty much yodel-yelling at the top of my lungs because I'm not freaking Adele. So..... everyone walking through that particular parking lot got a special vocal treat on their way to the testing center. Awesome.

Speaking of embarrassing ... Do not suddenly decide to consume large amounts of dairy after going a long time without it.... Unless you are particularly obsessed with the smell of your own putrid "I'm not used to dairy" toots... Because you will fart an average of once every millisecond for the 24 hours following your dairy binge. It's horrible. Learn from my mistake.

Thank you and goodnight.

PS alpha deer mug rug..

Hikety Hike

Two weekends ago, me, Michlle, and Papa Booth decided to go on a little nature hike to look at the pretty leaves in Adam's Canyon. I don't know how I didn't see it coming.. but what started out as a little walk turned into an 8 mile hike. For those of you who don't have any concept of distance or the difficulty involved in hiking... an 8 mile hike is NOT A NATURE WALK.

At one point.... the elevation change caused my brain to explode and I had to sit down in the middle of the trail because I kept blacking out and I couldn't breathe, but after that I was fine. Well... I was super wobbly, but I was fine.

I was fine, that is, until I fell onto a poky rock and destroyed my hand. But other than that I was fine. Although, I did pose like I was dying for all of these pictures. Ya... it was just a pose. Sure. PS Michelle where's our picture in front of the waterfall???????

Things heard on the trail:

"I feel like I can do anything in these pants." - Michelle

Michelle: "Ew. That is the biggest BEE I have ever seen."
Me: "That's because it's a cricket."

"Leisurely pace Dad. LEISURELY." -Me. Over and over again.

"Hello how awwww youuuuuuu!?!" -As said by a baby being carried by his dad in one of those baby backpacks.

And here's some pictures. They are not spaced evenly because blogger is RUINING MY LIFE.