Unsolved Mysteries

Why on earth is it, that when I look like absolute caca guys pay attention to me? I am not being stupid right now. I am not fishing for any "oh you never look like caca" comments. So don't leave any or I will slay you. I am just saying. Honestly. Truly. I was a gross looking girl today. My dirty hair was in a ponytail, I was wearing absolutely no makeup, and I may or may not have been wearing the same shirt / sweater combo I wore to church yesterday. I was Josie Grossie to the fullest. And today. TODAY of all days, this kid in my religion class decides to strike up a conversation with me.

I have had a minor I-don't-know-you-but-I-like-to-look-at-you crush on him all semester. Why today? WHY?

And he walked me out of class. And held the door for me. And all sorts of gentlemanly things like that. Is it 0pposite day!? Did the world start turning the wrong direction while I was catnapping between work and school? Was there possibly some kind of solar flare? Did Satan open a popsicle stand? Why did he pick the worst day in the history of me ever being cute to talk to me?

There are some things in this world I will just never understand.

Quote of the Day

"I know my cholo from my chile okay?"

"oooh They'll Bite Your Face Off!"

$10.00 to anyone who can name the lovely woman responsible for the title quote of this blog. Hint: She prefers that no one ever quote her. Ever. But the tidbit above was originally prefaced with the statement:

"Monkeys are mean!"

Put the two phrases together and you will have exactly what popped into my head while I was reading THIS. Not only was this article horrifying in every way, it reinforced my belief that wild exotic animals are not meant to be pets.

I don't care if they wear pants and eat at the dinner table. Chimps are not meant to live with the elderly. They will bite your face off. I don't blame the chimp. I feel bad for the chimp. I MOSTLY blame the owner who called 911. I kind of blame the victim, but I also feel bad for her so I can't fully blame her. But friends don't let friends own CHIMPS for crying out loud. They are crazy!

Quote of the Day

"Hmmm. It would be nice if he didn't keep having to redeem himself..."

Stephen.

Will Ferrell. As Satan.

How did I ever forget about this? We used to watch "The Best of Will Ferrell" like.. every week freshman year. And I just remembered why:


Will Ferrell writes a song for garth brooks - Watch more

Sorry about the swears.

Quote of the Day.

"I'm not going to be redundant. I'm not going to repeat myself. I don't want diarrhea coming out of my mouth."

Treachery.

I have so far managed to avoid writing the "25 Random Things About Me" note on facebook, and I was tagged 3 times. I refuse to do it. Because I don't need all of facebook up in my business. But then JACKIE pulled a fast one on me and at the end of hers wrote "If you read this you are automatically tagged."

NO FAIR!

But sometimes, Jackie is the boss of me. As much as I hate to admit it, she has the oldest sister mind control thing down. And I almost died laughing reading hers. So fine. You sneaky jerk.

My 25 Things

I'll try to keep this brief and make em good ones. Lame ones are lame.

1. I'm the middle child of a middle child (Mama Booth). We turned out awesome so I really can't complain.

2. I have an irrational fear of giant-headed costumes like Chuck E Cheese. It just creeps. me. out. And I get all stressed out and start sweating.

3.I have never had a cavity in my whole entire life, and have never broken a bone besides the occasional stubbed pinky toe. It must be genetics. As a child I was not known for my grace or dental hygeine.

4. I have experienced 5 real brushes with death that I am aware of.

5. I used to think I was a G when I was in elementary school and junior high (that's gangster to all you country folk). I used to walk home with the boys from my neighborhood every day. They were my little homies. I do not know what possessed me to be a hood rat. We were 12. Leave me alone.

6. I almost advanced to the school-wide spelling bee in the 7th grade. But then I decided that it was not a cool thing to do, so I let this kid named Rakesh with a speech impediment win instead. I had to keep my street cred. You know.

7. As I've gotten older I've developed a perilously weak stomach. Just talking about squeamish things can make me want to faint.

8. I love dancing. Preferably to hip hop. I know I am not a G but it just reminds me of dances in California.

9. I'm pretty sure I have had every Mariah Carey song written before 1998 memorized at one point in my life.

10. I crashed into our neighbor's PARKED CAR one morning when I was late to school and thought scraping the ice from the windshield was unnecessary. I was wrong.

11. I totally passed a French proficiency test at BYU for upper level French classes. I understand movies in French and I can read French too. Speaking it... not so much.

12. I have been boy crazy since pre-school. Jackie was all too willing to help me write a love letter to my crush, Garrett. We were 4. I couldn't write and he couldn't read. Jackie needs to quit it with the love letters.

13. The only foods I really know how to cook without a microwave are: cornbread, brownies, fudge, pasta, cupcakes, eggs, and stir fry. For real. I augment these skills with instant oatmeal, slimfast, and lean cuisines. Someone needs to teach me how to cook.

14. When I was in Kindergarten I gave our 4th grade helper a bloody nose by smacking him upside the face with my lunch bag.

15. My room is a perpetual mess. I clean it allll the way clean once in a while, and then I'll just clean it half way until I can't stand it anymore.

16. I can fall asleep any place, any time.

17. I would say about 1/3 to 1/2 of the shirts I own are striped in some way.

18. I love wearing high heels. I feel cuter in them.

19. I tend to like guys who are 6'3'' or taller. Most likely because I won't give up wearing heels, but at the same time I have a giant-woman complex. I blame the early growth spurts of my youth. I like to feel like a small little thing.

20. I actually like taking the bus.

21. I am always scared there is going to be a dead body in my bathtub.

22. Tupac is alive. I have new information from a credible source. For REAL. And I have been really excited about it all day.

23. I'm turning 22 in a few months, but I feel much younger than that. I'm confident that we are all just mistaken.

24. Feeling cold is one of the least enjoyable things in life for me. I hate being cold. It comes second only to feeling pain.

25. I love sewing, but I detest using patterns. I haven't used a pattern for years.

Quote of the Day

"No. He is not the mac to your cheese. He is a spoon and you want him to be the mac, but he is not. And he knows you're a cheese, but you are like aged brie, and he likes swiss. You know it. Don't weaken. Stay strong."

These are usually super lame...

But I just felt like it okay?

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I have an ancestor named Kerstin. Apparently its pronounced "sheerstin" but my mom thought it was pronounced "Kirsten" but she liked Kristin better so that's kind of where it came from.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I started to get teary eyed on Thursday because I was running late for work and then my make up squirted on my shirt and I was NOT in the mood for those kind of shenanigans.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Ya. But mostly its only cute when I make a conscious decision to write small.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey!

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Nope.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Ya. I'm funny. And humble.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Nevaaaaar!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Ya... no one else wants them.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? As of right now, I would say no way. I just feel like it would be a reckless thing to do. Life is precious and more delicate than we think sometimes. And I'm scared of heights.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Berry Berry Kix! And they don't make it anymore and I miss it every single day.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope. I just slip em off one at a time. So my shoes lie around the house in ballet's 3rd or 5th position, depending on how hard it is to pull out my foot when I step on the heel of my shoe. Its kind of funny / creepy.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Cake batter ice cream with pieces of cookie dough from Coldstone. MMmmm.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Honestly, I notice whether or not they are nice. For real. Seeing people do good deeds they think go unnoticed gets my attention more than anything else in the world. So don't sass your mom. I'm watching, and I'll remember.


15. RED OR PINK? Red. But I like pink things.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I could stand to be less messy. A lot less.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Nunya Bidness.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? No. I don't care really. Do it if you want. If you don't, you won't be cursed and we will still be friends. This is not a chain letter. Its mostly for my own entertainment.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue Jeans and bare feet.

(there is no 20)

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The witty banter of Shawn on "Psych"...

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I would be two crayons, light pink and brown. And its pronounced "cran" thank you very much.

23. FAVORITE SMELL: Fall: hay fields, apples, cinamon, leaves, dirt, rain.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The little operator lady at the Provo temple.

25. DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I stole it from Michelle Chapin

26. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH? Football, Basketball, and volleyball. In that order.

27. HAIR COLOR? how now Brown cow?

28. EYE COLOR? Blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No way. I would hate to put something in my eye. I almost threw up at the eye doctors and he was just LOOKING at my eye. And my eyes are way sensitive.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Chicken Pad Thai. And other such noodley things.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy movies. Preferably a chick flick. I am the biggest scaredy cat ever.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Persuasion. It was so good! That Jane Austen was a genius.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. But preferably Fall.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Sometimes you need a hug. Sometimes you need a kiss. Why must I choose?

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? I don't even know.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Did I ask a question?

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Did it echo?

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Nothing but text books and the BOM.

40 WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I'm on my lap top. But there is a sparkly Princess Jasmine sticker dancing next to my mouse.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I didn't watch TV last night.

42. FAVORITE SOUNDS? My favorite ring tones. Sad. But they are good songs and I'm always happy to hear them! Pretty Woman (my mom's) Love... by Matt White and The Way I Am... by Ingrid Michaelson

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I'm a big fan of "Paint it Black".... but lets be real. My heart will always belong to the Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Carthage, Illinois. It was a church trip to Nauvoo and it was AWESOME.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I have never met a stuck jar I couldn't open. For real.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Mountainview, California

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I blog stalk everyone equally.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? I haven't yet. RUB IT IN.

So...

I thought I was a pretty patient person. I have not always been as patient as I am now, and by some people's standards I'm sure I'm not patient at all. But I'm learning. I can quietly listen to customers rant on the phone for a half hour or more without breaking a sweat or making a peep. If needed, I'll wait in a 20 cart line at the grocery store. I take the bus, which is probably less than half as fast as driving myself. Sometimes the bus is late. I deal. It doesn't phase me when my professor is 15 minutes late to lecture. After working in a daycare it takes a LOOOOT for me to lose patience with a child, because I had to learn how to take care of 10 three-year-olds at a time. But every now and then, I find out that there are certain things that cause a substantial flair of impatience in me. And sometimes, that flair is huge. That is all.

Quote of the Day

"You think life goes on forever? You think behind every chance there's another chance and another one and another one? It's the worse kind of extravagance the way you spend your chances, Birdee. " - Hope Floats

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

So. Remember (this)? I knew I wasn't healthy and it was taking a toll on my body. I'd like to say I've been working out and trying really hard to just get fit, but life happens and I haven't put as much energy into it as I would have liked. But I've gotten pretty good at eating right. I haven't been perfect at it, but all in all I'm pretty proud of myself. I can't take all the credit though, the "depression diet" and "your mom has cancer" fitness program has for sure played a huge role. My next endeavor will be to jump back on the work-out wagon, because I just feel better about life when I exercise.

So, you ask, what's the magic number? (And by you, I really mean universe because it seems that is what I've been battling.)

A nice robust $1.65

You can take back my muffin top and shove it, universe!

I apologize to anyone who doesn't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about. Just let me have my small little celebration, okay?