Memories.

A couple days ago I woke up from a nap with the "Miss Susie had a baby" song inexplicably stuck in my head.

Not familiar?

It's a really trashy rhyme we used to sing when we were playing a ghetto pattycake game in elementary school. Our version went like this:

Miss Susie had a baby, the baby had a bill
miss Susie went to heaven, the baby went to
HELLO operator, please give me number 9
And If you disconnect me, I'll kick your big
BEHIND the 'fridgerator, there lay a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it, and broke her little
ASK me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their
FLIES are in the city, the bees are in the park,
Miss Susie's with her boyfriend, kissing in the
D-A-R-K D-A-R-K Dark dark dark!
The dark is like a movie, the movie's like a show
A show is on a TV set and that is all
I KNOW I know my mama, I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister with a 40 acre bra!

I didn't think anything of it when I was little. I also didn't think anything of this one:

Mailman mailman do your duty,
Here comes Shayna with a big fat booty
She can shake it to the right
she can shake it to the left
when she shakes it she's the best


Oh. And there were tons more. One of my favorites when I was little was this gem my friends learned while cheerleading for the Fremont Football League, aka the FFL, as in, the pee-wee football league in my city where little girls learned how to be hoochies and little boys turned into thugs. Way to go, Fremont. Anyway. It went like this:

Who000 rocks the house?
Kelly rocks the house.
And when Kelly rocks the house,
she rocks it
ALL THE WAYYYYY DOWNNNNN!

Now, we didn't use this rhyme during pattycake. We didn't use it during hopscotch. No, not even playing jump rope. When we sang that one, we stood in a semi-circle and whoever we said "rocked the house" would dance in the middle of the circle until the ending line. On the ending line, the girl in the middle would shake her hips all the way down to the ground. As in. We rocked the house all the way down.


.....crickets......


WE WERE 9 YEARS OLD.