So. Maybe a humming bird flew into my neighbor's apartment today. All the females in the vicinity immediately kind of squealed or screamed while the one guy that was there just calmly said: "There is a hummingbird in your house."
I decided I would gently catch it in my hands so that I could release it back into the wild. I was scared it was going to peck me but I really would have been upset if the idiot bird killed itself running into the closed window it was unsuccessfully attempting to escape through. It was buzzing like a giant beaky bee between the blinds and the glass.
Picking it up was probably the weirdest feeling ever. It didn't weigh a thing! It just felt like I was holding a pretty little bug with giant frightening wings. I was going to take it outside but then everyone whipped out their phones to take a picture. I felt so brave and in tune with nature. And then it escaped from my hands and smacked right back into the window.
So I caught it again. And I let it go outside with one grand sweeping graceful gesture. I felt like Pocahontas. And I'm really glad it didn't croak.
I caught a hummingbird with my BARE HANDS.
WITHOUT KILLING IT.
My life is now complete. Don't worry Mom, as soon as I let it go I went and washed my hands. And I thought of you.