Sometimes, girls at BYU wear skirts with their backpacks. This would be fine, if they were aware that with every step they take, their backpack could potentially expose their bum to the world. I am well aware of this phenomenon, and only wear skirts which I have tested for no-ride qualities. I used to take pity on these poor girls, and would tell them their skirt was tucked up under their backpack. I would try my best to let them know as soon as I saw it coming. I once ran up a hill to catch up with a girl whose skirt was perilously close to underwear territory. And all she said was "oh" and tugged her skirt down. No "thank you". And then I watched her skirt get all bunched up again as she walked away. She didn't even care. AND I RAN!
And so, I have become proud and bitter in my old age. Proud at the fact that I NEVER allow my backpack to eat my skirt, and bitter at the fact that these girls made it all the way to BYU without understanding the basic relationship between gravity and friction.
I can't think of anything to say that would resolve this blog for a good ending. So. The end.