Saturday, January 1, 2011

So Tell Me About Your Christmas Break? P.S. DO NOT EAT KFC

Most memorable Christmas break ever? Probably.

Let's start with a housemate secretly moving out the day after finals ended. Curious.

Then, lets add a foot of snow to jolly old provo.

Always a pleasure, I got cussed out on my last phone call on my last day of work before Christmas.... (Dec 22nd). Happy Holidays!

The next day, in K-town with the fam, our puppy Lady decided to ingest and then regurgitate what appeared to be a nylon sock.

Commence the unending puppy up-chuck-athon that lasted through Christmas. Lady barfed on me approximately 5 times. And it was hot. As in extremely warm. Not as in attractive. I would say 10% of her barf landed on my person. There was a lot of barfing going on.

After 2 previously unsuccessful vet visits, we decided to take the little darling to the animal ER. On Christmas Day.

I'm feeling a little bit queasy as I write this, so I'm just going to cut to the chase. Lady ate a sock. Part of it got stuck inside her digestional tract. The doctor used a magic wand and fairy dust to make it disappear. And now Lady is all better.


If you have a weak stomach, do not read the next paragraph.

***

Fairy dust my eye. They cut her open. The doctor then proceeded to show me her intestines to explain what the problem was so that we could decide whether to continue operating or put her to sleep. After about 3 minutes of nodding and talking to the doctor calmly while he played with the puppy guts, I half-fainted into a chair. And after being scooted/dragged out of the operating room, threw up into a garbage can. Merry Christmas. But the end result is the same.... Lady seems to be recovering quite nicely.

***

It's now safe to read again.

The last few days have been pretty wonderful. With the puppy barf under control and a few days to just sit around and take a break, I've loved every minute of it.
Can you imagine my Christmas Break getting any better? Oh, it's about to.

Today I drove back down to Provo to get ready for work on Monday and school on Tuesday. After running a few errands, I realized I hadn't really eaten much today. So I decided to treat myself to some KFC. I just like friend chicken okay???!!!!

While I was on my last piece of chicken in my little meal, something weird fell off of the meat onto my napkin. Well. More like two something weirds. I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it: (The rest of this blog is not safe for queasy readers.)

There was a chicken "kidney" stuck to one of the pieces in my meal. It looks like a tiny little brain. Literally. Just like one. AND. An unidentified object which looks conspicuously similar to a chicken claw/toe.

Am I kidding right now? No. I am not. I googled "chicken brain in my KFC" and aparently what I found was a chicken kidney, and it is not the first time someone has found one in their KFC. If you are brave enough to find out what it looked like, click here .

Unfortunately, I probably can't sue them because it didn't pose a health risk. But I will never be the same. NEVER.

And I really have no more words.
........

Happy Freaking New Year.

4 comments:

  1. happy freakin new year to you too... at least I got pulled over by a cute cop!

    love maren

    p.s. why do we live in different states. miss you

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  2. That is disgusting!!! Oh my gosh I screamed because I looked. I had to know what you saw. And I KNOW you googled that so I trust you that it is a kidney even though I think it looks like a brain too. You should have asked for your money back at least!!! Also, I am glad Lady is ok. And I miss you. That is all. Okloveyoubye.

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  3. The fact that you googled "chicken brain in my KFC" made me LOL. Miss your face.

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  4. OK, you win. I would tell you about my Christmas break but it's not as funny as yours.

    ReplyDelete