Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Winter Phenomena

Some funny things happen in the winter. And when I say funny, what I really mean is puzzling. And when I say puzzling, I mean that they are super annoying.

Phenomenon Numero Uno: Arctic Nose Bleeds

I am not a person who has ever really been prone to nose bleeds. The only nosebleed I can remember from my childhood wasn't even a real one. I just wiped my nose with the back of my hand while we were watching some movie about dragons that we had rented from "the Warehouse" and I remember actually being excited that my nose was bleeding. But when I ran to get a tissue, it stopped. Boring.

Cue the dry and wintry death breezes that blow though Provo.

It really doesn't make sense to me why it happens, but my little nose just takes personal offense when the temperature dips below 20. Ouchy Arctic nose bleeds. Curse you, father winter.

Phenomenon Number 2: Reduced Headphone Malleability

Has anyone else noticed that when it's really frigid outside, the cords to your headphones become stiff and weird and all of sudden it feels like your ear buds are attached to two long white sticks? Because I sure have. And then, the ear buds start falling out of your ears and its really hard to put them back in correctly when you have gloves on. Bahhhhh. Hate. I hate crunchy cords. It's just so strange to me. Water freezes. I understand that. Most liquids turn to solids at some point when their temperature drops low enough. But wire and plastic? If it's that cold outside, I don't think I should be required to subject myself to possible bodily solidification. I'm 70 % water. It's dangerous out there.

Phenomenon Number 3: Temperature Sensitive Motivation

When it dips below 10 degrees, I lose any shred of will I may have previously possessed to venture outside. School and work and EVEN GETTING FOOD becomes a burden. I love grocery shopping. Love it. But when it's cold out, my cupboards become pitifully bare. I turn into a winter hermit. I would LOVE to be able to hibernate. Like a bear. Honestly, if my house started burning down and it was below 10 degrees outside, I would think twice before evacuating my apartment. At least deadly fire is warm.

Phenomenon Number 4: Poky Nose Hairs

I really do not like it when I try taking a deep cleansing breath, only to have my nostrils pricked by a thousand tiny frozen nose hairs. And then they unfreeze upon exhale. Poky. Not poky. Poky. Not poky. Hate.

Phenomenon Number 5: Cookie Cravings

When its cold I like to eat cookies. I usually make a half batch... which is approximately 24 cookies, and then I consume at least 3/4 of them by myself within 2 days. I have to stop myself from stocking up on chocolate chips on the off chance that I have driven the horrible journey (3 blocks) to the grocery store. It's a constant battle. But I am getting gooooood at making cookies. I seriously could eat chocolate chip cookies for the rest of my life and never tire of them. Never.

I'll update this or post again when I recognize any new patterns of strangeness that have something to do with the winter time.

1 comment:

  1. i literally started crying because I was laughing so hard when i read the poky nose hairs part. no joke. You can ask Deaner... he was sitting next to me.

    get in my state!