Most people who know my family relatively well know that we have this awesome tendency to contract diseases that are usually only common among the 75+ crowd. I'll make a short list and not mention any names to protect the identities of those that I love.
Age inappropriate Booth Family Diseases:
1. Arthritis at age 8
2. Interstitial cystitis (a.k.a. bladder woes) at age 15
3. Diabetes at age 7
4. Kidney stones at age 17
5. Various cancerous and non-cancerous tumors in all age ranges.
etc. etc. etc.
Well guess what kids? We can add another to the list! A couple weeks ago I was lucky enough to contract SHINGLES. Most cases of shingles occur in patients over the age of 65. Awesome right?
WRONG.
For any of you who don't know what shingles is... I'll catch you up really quick: Shingles is Satan's version of the chicken pox, and it is a horse of a different color. Some might say, it's a bitch of a different breed. Choose your favorite mammalian metaphor.
After you have had the chicken pox, the virus that causes chicken pox lives for-ev-er in your nerves. When you have a weakened immune system, the little viral piss ants come back to life and make their way to your skin THROUGH YOUR NERVE ENDINGS. I have uploaded a nice little diagram from wikipedia that demonstrates this lovely process:
So basically, you have a fiendishly itchy rash that you CANNOT scratch, because when you do, it feels like someone lit your skin on fire and then hit it with a baseball bat.
It was unreal.
I lucky enough to develop a rash right over my sacral nerves. You know.. the ones that run from your lower back all the way down through your leg. So even though my rash was really little, it hurt all the way down to the tips of my toes. It felt kind of like getting a dry socket from having your wisdom teeth pulled. Except bigger. And hurtier. I could actually see my pulse through my eyeball as my back was throbbing. I don't even know how that is possible. At one point, ripping my leg out of my hip socket seemed like a plausible way to alleviate some of the pain.
AND, my case wasn't even that bad. I'm so lucky. I caught it early and the doctor gave me some meds that kept it from getting out of control. I'm so grateful for doctors. And I feel so so so sad for little old people who have really bad cases of shingles. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy's grandma.
Anyway. I'm fine now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
ReplyDeletethis post is funny.
and it was age 13. got it.
1. Those were all you, weren't they?
ReplyDelete2. I'm so sad and sorry that you got shingles! My mom had it a few years back and it was the worst! Try not to get it again, please.
3. The title of this post reminds me of something Craig used to do when he was a tiny bowl-cut-and-bottle-glasses wearing 7 year old. Every time he needed a knife, he would run up to the drawer, yank it open, grab a knife, and hold it straight up in the air while singing "Shing...ding.....ding". He said the song was the sound of light shining on the "sword". Obvi.
SYMPATHY. I also got shingles several years ago when I was 27. And I thought the doctor was joking because only old people get shingles. And I also had a pretty mild case, but I had lingering nerve pain for over a year and even now get twinges occasionally. My advice is, don't push yourself to get over it quickly! This is your body's way of saying it needs some rest. :) I didn't listen to mine, so it had to shout at me.
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