Monday, July 21, 2008

What Have You Done With My Name?

So... today at work I got a letter. Not just any letter. A letter from an INMATE. Some of our independent study students are prisoners who are furthering their education, and we're all for that.

BUT. This one inmate wrote in to the front desk asking a pretty generic customer service question. SO. I wrote him back. And not thinking, signed my last name. This is something I always have to do, because there are two Kristins in my office. I usually don't think about it. Maybe this time I should have. OOPS. I figured it would only be like a one time deal, and didn't give it any thought. That was back in March.

He wrote to us again, and this time ADDRESSED his letter to me. Shudder. What have I done?. I reluctantly opened the letter, skimming over the caution on the prison envelope that reads as follows:


It wasn't a creepy letter, just another regular student concern about changing his address because he got transferred to a different facility. I don't know. Something about it just unnerved me. He's really nice, and I've been pretty awesome at helping him out. But ya know... he's in prison for a reason. So now that this guy has my full name and place of employment, my mind started to wander and now I'm a little paranoid. I don't know if I should be nice to him or mean to him. Its not my place to judge, but I just don't want him getting out of jail and coming to thank me. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares about it. Because then if I'm rude to him, I don't want him getting out of jail and murdering me. But then AGAIN... what if he just like, forged a check or something? Then I don't really have to worry.

So I had this burning desire to find out what he was in for. SO I decided to play detective and look up his public records online. Bad idea. My little pen pal has no less than NINE. Count them 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 counts of sex crimes divided between child molestation in the second degree and child rape in the the first degree.

So. I'm having kind of an anxiety attack over it. So, my friend at work and I decided to google my name and see what came up. You know. See if my prisoner friend could in any way find me when he got out with my name. Turns out, Kristin Booth is a popular Canadian actress.

She is kind of a ho. Not a total ho, but she kinda looks ho-ish. She has her own website. . Its kind of funny. Except she has ruined my name, and if I ever become famous, there will be two of us, and I'm going to have to battle her.


  1. haaaaaaahahahahahhahahah. thats funny. sick. what a freak.

  2. Haha, you are so funny :)

    I think my favorite part was when you said you would have to battle her. I hope you do get famous just so you can. I'd vote for you. But then again, maybe when (if) he gets out, he will google your name, find Canadian actress, and thank (stalk) her and then she, since she is so famous, will put him in jail again. Maybe.

  3. ahhh that makes me a little jumpy. Tell your bosses. Just to be safe.

    Tangent - Do you ever watch 'Lockup'? It's fascinating...