Quote of the day AGAIN

Sorry. But its necessary:

"That's like the poop frosting on the crap cake!"

I said that one. Isn't it funny?

Quote of the day

"You can't treat every situation like its life or death. Believe me. You will die a LOT of times."

Quote of the Day

"I wish the bathroom was freaking closer. I hate cartin my crap all the way down there."

Quote of the day

"Oh sweet. Good to know my vibe-detector isn't broken"

Holly Hall!

OKay, so maybe one of my BFFs got married yesterday and it was really, really cute. I just love seeing my best friends so happy. For anyone who knows Holly Pouslen... she is now Holly Hall. I know right? Perfect holly-like name. It was great to get together with all the girlfriends at the temple and meet her hubby and see her family. Her reception was adorable. And maybe I caught the bouquet?? Ya, I did. Here are some pictures. And when I say some, what I mean is that they are going to take over the page so don't be overwhelmed. They are in a crazy order. If you want to see alllllll of them. They are on facebook. Woop woop!

Dude. Wipe the tears off your guitar before you ruin it you big baby.

Taylor Swift and I have a love/hate relationship. "Teardrops On My Guitar" and other such ridiculously junior high-esque emo songs drive me absolutely bonkers. HOWEVER. I do enjoy me some rowdy break up songs. I don't know why. I had heard "Picture to Burn" on the radio previously, but had never really listened to the words until like, yesterday. And it was awesome.

Anyway. I don't know why I love songs about women being irrational in a rageoholic way. They just make me laugh. Here are a few tender lyrical morsels from Ms. Swift:

... So go and tell your friends

Tha I’m obsessive and crazy,

That’s fine, I’ll tell mine

You’re gay,

And by the way,

I hate that stupid old pickup truck,

You never let me drive

You’re a redneck, heartbreaker

Who’s really bad at lyin'

So watch me strike a match

On all my wasted time

As far as I’m concerned,

You’re just another picture to burn.

There’s no time for tears

I’m just sitting here planning my revenge

There’s nothing stopping me

From going out with all of your best friends

And if you come around saying’ sorry to me

My daddy’s going to show you how sorry you’ll be

And if you’re missing me

You better keep it to yourself

‘Cause coming back around here

Would be bad for your health...

Also, another good rowdy break up song (for all of you who are interested) is "Breaking Dishes" by Rihana. Rihanna? I don't know. Here's a glimpse at her deeply poetic and sociopathic side:

. . . I ain't trippin, I ain't twisted,

I ain't demented, well, just a 'lil bit.

I'm kicking (butts),

I'm taking names.. I'm all a flame,

Don't come home babe.

I'm breaking dishes up in here all night.

I ain't goin to stop until I see police lights

I'ma fight a man tonight, I'ma fight a man tonight

I'ma fight a man, a man, a ma ha ha ha hann.

I'm still waiting, come through the door.
I'm killing time, you know, bleaching your clothes.
I'm roasting marshmallows on the fire,

and what I'm burning, uh,

is your attire. . .

Honestly. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a psycho, and I would never do any of these things to an ex boyfriend (or anyone) ever. But they just make me so happy. I think that was probably a contradiction. Kthxbye.

Sweet Evolution?

Okay so here's the update. My Ashley Tisdale scented deodorant is apparently called "Sweet Revolution" which is a strange name for a smell. And what's even weirder, is that for the longest time I thought it was "Sweet Evolution"... which made me think of that super nasty picture of the supposed evolution of man. You know.. the one that starts out as an ape monkeying along and then gradually works its way up to a nakey guy? Ya. The first time I saw that chart was during an open house at Glenmoor elementary school. We were in Tami's classroom, and it really disturbed me.


This is the packaging the Deo came in. How could I say no? It even says OMG.

Deo part Deux

So remember how I wrote a blog about Ban? Well. Its not as awesome as I thought it was. Sorry to all of my fans who immediately ran out and bought themselves some new deodorant to be just like me. But I found some that actually does work. And it had a picture of Ashley Tisdale on it. More on that to come.

This article made my day complete... and possibly my life.

So pretty much all of my co-workers know I keep a running list of students in our system that I come across who have unfortunate names. I'll post them someday, but not while I still work where I do. Because that way, instead of saying "Hey! Here's a piece of a student's educational record I'm trusted with! It's hilarious!" it will be more like.... "this one time... I heard of this kid named ... " Harry Butts or whatever. So to tide me over, publishing this public article I found will suffice. I'll post the link at the bottom, but it's organized in a weird way so it'll just be better if I copy and paste. Enjoy!

"The worst, most humiliating baby names"

Ancestry.com shares the silliest, craziest and downright cruelest names of all time...

What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Tiny Hooker” or “Fanny Large”? Or an amusing choice like “Wanna Towell"? It’s not just Hollywood’s elite opting for unique, embarrassing names—throughout history, normal people separated their offspring from the masses with truly terrible names.

In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site Ancestry.com, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau. Discover the funny names based around common themes, like diseases (Fever Bender, Cholera Peace), food (Bread White, Pomegranate Purple), pets (Good Dog), and if you thought Wednesday Addams was unfortunate—wait till you meet Monday Monday.

Celebrities

Forget Suri or Shiloh – celebrities have given their children far stranger names! Discover the stars' oddest, most bizarre baby names:

Clementine Jane (Ethan Hawke and Ryan Shawhughes)
Knox Leon (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt)

Sunday Rose (Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)

Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow)

Moxie CrimeFighter (Magician Penn Jillette)

Hopper (Sean Penn and Robin Wright)

Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)

Sosie (Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick)

Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)

Aurelius Cy (Elle Macpherson)

Kal-El Coppola (Nicolas Cage)

Bluebell Madonna (Spice Girl Geri Halliwell)

Audio Science (Actress Shannyn Sossamon)

Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)

Tallulah (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore)

Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)

Diseases

You'd have to be really sick to infect your offspring with virulent names like these:

Fever Bender (born 1856)
Leper Priest (born 1929

Cholera Priest (born 1830 during the second cholera pandemic)

Rubella Graves (born 1814)

Typhus Black (born 1897)

Hysteria Johnson (born 1881)

Emma Royd (born 1850)

Kathryn E. Coli (born 1894)

Mumps Sykes (born 1891)

Professions

With names like "Mayor Bland," it seems like some parents had high, ambitious hopes for their children's future.

Cook Cook

Governor Bush

Lawyer Low

Doctor Love

Teacher Blackbear

Judge Savage

Editor Honeycutt

Mayor Bland

Sales O. Justice

Gamble Moore

Sins

The authors found 149 records for people named Lust, 70 for Greed, 12 for Sloth, and 830 for Pride. Which of the 7 deadlly sins was missing? Only gluttony.

Lust Garten

Greed Sister Mancini

Avarice Sullivan

Sloth Washton

Wrath Gordon

Envy Burger

Pride Saint

Greed McGrew

Pride Saint

Lust T. Castle

Irish luck

Plenty of parents must have thought that naming their child Lucky would translate into a bright future. In 1930 alone, there are 463 Luckys.

Some lucky favorites:

Lucky Green

Lucky Jewell

Lucky O’Brien

Lucky Pleasant

Luck Fortune

Shamrock Hardeman of Illinois

Shamrock Dates of Mississippi

Shamrock Holland of Texas

The religious types:

Saint Patrick Blan

Saint Patrick Forrest

Saint Patrick

The patriotic:

Ireland England

Ireland Green

Irish Sea

Ireland Brew

Whimsical:

Rainbow Green

Emerald Jewel

Clover Field

Clover B. Green

A St. Patrick’s Day feast:

Beef Cooper

Guinness Dack

Cabbage Haywood

Foods

Some parents loved eating so much, they named their kids after favorite meals, snacks—and even condiments:

Lunch Magee
Dinner Ware

Bread White

Hero Brat

Mayo Head

Mustard M. Mustard

Pickle Parker

Plum Sellers

Banana Bowdy

Cherry Grant

Bart Simpson pranks

Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe's Tavern are nearly legendary, but the sad fact is that some people actually go through life with those goofy names. The following Bart creations all exist within the Ancestry.com databases:

Al Caholic

Oliver Clothesoff

I.P. Freely

Seymour Butz

Mike Rotch

Hugh Jass

Amanda Hugginkiss

Ivana Tinkle

Anita Bath

Maya Buttreeks

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23631411?pg=1#TDY_Names_Bad

Can you even believe that? They're all real! Its a dream come true. For some reason, my favorite is Beef Cooper. Beef! It makes me laugh every time I think about it. Beef.

Mercy.

I haven't been super awesome at enduring my trials very well lately... SO... I've kind of dropped the ball school-wise. I've been preparing for the fallout, you know... suspension, expulsion, all things that are very real consequences right now. I've even researched careers I would enjoy that don't require a BA. And the choices are few and far between. Anyway. Now that I've collected myself emotionally for the most part I've decided to just keep trying my hardest not to fail my classes this semester. Today I found out... that my English teacher doesn't penalize anyone for late work. AWESOME! So I can basically still get a really good grade in his class. He is the bomb. AND his name is Bruce Wayne Jorgensen. For real. Bruce Wayne. And he was born before batman even happened. He is an OB. Original Batman.

Wha?

P.s. my new background looks like sparkly marijuana. But I think its pretty. So leaf me alone.

Deodorant Shopping

I don't know about everyone else, but when I shop for deo I seriously have to smell every single one before making a decision. I'm super sensitive to smell. So if I'm about to buy something that's going to be faintly wafting into my olefactory all day long, I have to make sure its not going to make me want to throw up.

Behold my newest discovery:

Ban regular scented original roll on. I'm not too crazy about the whole roll on thing, but it smells like pure happiness. Or Jasmine. One of the two.

Seriously... its awesome. My armpits will never be the same.

Quote of the Day

I heart old people. The cutest old man wearing a golf hat came in to the Independent Study office today to turn in an assignment. He saw that my name tag said "student supervisor" and he was thrilled and went on to talk about how at a corporate level he always hired women because they were "just the best employees" ... and then he talked about how most corporations only hire men, and then on that note he started talking smack on Bill Gates (maybe he only hires men?) and he goes:

"Bah... Bill Gates....I knew Bill Gates back when he worked for TRW. He was a monkey and I told him so several times. One day I just walked into his office and said, 'Bill... take a shower!' "

And then he giggled and left. SO I did some research on this guy, and apparently he is 74 and he really DID work with Bill Gates and he's probably a billionaire. I just love him. He's always way funny and talkative when he comes in to the office.

I've Been Tagged!

I am: Kristin May Booth

I want: it that way (holla! BSB)

I have: a ridiculous amount of stress.

I dislike: Pumpkin Guts. Ardently.

I miss: the leaves already! They are all on the ground!

I fear: walking up the stairs in the dark. I always think someone is going to grab my ankle.

I feel: hopeful.

I hear: the rowdy employees behind me.

I smell: like the perfume I got for Christmas 2 years ago. I just rediscovered it.

I crave: Chinese food.

I cry: about every other day lately.

I usually: am late. Not to class, but to everything else.

I search: for things I want online.

I wonder: why anyone believes in UFO's.

I regret: dropping my phone in the bath tub yesterday.

I love: life.

I care: about other people's feelings.

I always: watch the discovery channel.

I worry: about things most people don't.

I am not: shy.

I remember: the 1989 loma prieta earthquake. Beat that.

I believe: in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of ma haaaaa. (my heart)

I dance: when no one's looking.

I sing: when I'm in a really good mood.

I don't always: speak with delicate tact.

I argue: mostly only with rude people.

I write: about things that make me laugh. Or cry. Or think.

I win: whenever I play BS. I'm a people reader. Lie detector. Call it what you will.

I lose: staring contests. I just have dry eyes okay??

I wish: I was awesome at doing my homework.

I listen: to a ton of different types of music.

I don't understand: how some people can be so rude without being ashamed.

I can usually be found: in my bed.

I need: to rearrange my room. My bed is next to my gappy window. Burrrr!

I forget: to eat sometimes.

I am happy: when I'm with family and friends.

I tag: Alyson Robinett and Jessica Liening!

Computers. Don't step on them.

So this one time... one of my roommates stepped on my computer. Like smack dab in the middle of it. None of them ever owned up to it, and its kind of embarrassing, but I usually don't even notice. However, sometimes... like when I'm in the library.. people look at my lap top and then look at me with a weird face. And then I remember. To them... it looks like I probably stepped on my own computer.

Hmmm can't see it? Lemme help you out.

Ya. Awesome. No wait I meant Lame. Its too small to be my foot. I measured. I pretty much know who it was. But it was like a year ago and I've let by gones be by gones. But I think its comical in a slightly angering way.

Fall is for Lovers.

I don't care what anyone thinks. Fall is my favorite season. And I think it is the most romantic. It is conducive to snuggling. And it is more colorful than spring. And it is so pretty and breezy and the sun isn't beating down on you. Its just shining at you from the side. Fall is sweater weather. You can go on long walks without getting frostbitten, sunburned, or sweaty. I love love love love love it.

Halloweeeeen.

I was a go-go girl for halloween. What is a go go girl without a huge tumor beehive of hair?

So, this is the classic "oh my gosh i'm adorable let me take a picture of my self in the mirror with my phone" picture. I cropped out the rest of my shower curtain, because it made the picture too busy. Yes. Busier than my dress. Which was $4.99. Don't be jealous.

This is Jessica and I, making the cutest faces imaginable. I'm not sure why we didn't opt for a "just in case" second shot. We should have.

Here is the group picture. Yes. It is off center. But in the other group picture my eyes are closed. So deal with it. I did not know 75% of these people before that night. Back row: Kyle, Emmy, me, Jessica. Front row: A bunch of girls wearing black that I still really don't know. Plus Craig.