Letters Unsent

Seriously, sometimes I just feel like writing anonymous/not anonymous letters to people who I think need some advice. I of course never send these letters, or even write them. But at least once a week I send people letters in my head. For instance, today I had a mental letter constructed that went as follows:

Dear Madonna,

I am in no way trying to fight you. You have scary biceps and really strange muscular thighs. But seriously, stop trying to adopt kids from Africa who already have families. I'm sure there are plenty out there who really do need adopting. And for crying out loud, do not name that child "Mercy." You are not awesome.

Love,

Kristin

This is Madonna herself, calling dibs on adopting an unsuspecting giant-headed Kanye West. Little does she know, Kanye does NOT need to be adopted, nor does he want a new mommy who could break his skull in that nutcracker armpit of hers. Quit it Madonna. Stop with the madness.