Monday, March 30, 2009

Letters Unsent

Seriously, sometimes I just feel like writing anonymous/not anonymous letters to people who I think need some advice. I of course never send these letters, or even write them. But at least once a week I send people letters in my head. For instance, today I had a mental letter constructed that went as follows:

Dear Madonna,

I am in no way trying to fight you. You have scary biceps and really strange muscular thighs. But seriously, stop trying to adopt kids from Africa who already have families. I'm sure there are plenty out there who really do need adopting. And for crying out loud, do not name that child "Mercy." You are not awesome.

Love,

Kristin

This is Madonna herself, calling dibs on adopting an unsuspecting giant-headed Kanye West. Little does she know, Kanye does NOT need to be adopted, nor does he want a new mommy who could break his skull in that nutcracker armpit of hers. Quit it Madonna. Stop with the madness.

8 comments:

  1. HAHahhaHAha
    AHAHhaHAhahaH
    aahhaHahaH
    ahA
    HA
    ha
    AHaHHahA
    HaaH
    HahAHahaHAhH
    im rofling all by myself in my room.

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  2. That was probably the funniest thing I've ever read.

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  3. Steve, that means a lot coming from you. I'm honored.

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  4. Oh my gosh! Thanks for brightening my day! I really think you should send that anonymously. Funny!

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  5. I'm fessing up that I creep on your blog sometimes. So what.

    Um, I CANNOT stop laughing. I can't. It just.. keeps going. Thank you. Sooo much.

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  6. SERIOUSLY! I was thinking the same thing! Also, Madonna's thigh muscles confuse and intimidate me.

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  7. Sheila and I just read this out loud and laughed the whole time. Still laughing.

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